Everyone else looks like a runner. I don’t.

Before my first running event, the Fremantle 10 km fun run, I was convinced I would stand out in the wrong way.

I had a picture of what a runner looked like. The people in that picture appeared much more suited to the whole business than I felt. They belonged at an event. I was less certain about myself.

Then I got there and found a much wider collection of people than I’d imagined. Everyday people, arriving with their own reasons for taking part.

That experience challenged an assumption I’d carried without giving it much thought: that I would somehow recognise who belonged by looking at them.

The picture can be too small

If most of the running you see comes through advertising or carefully chosen photographs, it’s easy to build a fairly narrow idea of the person who does it.

Then you look at yourself getting ready and spot all the differences. The clothes don’t sit the same way. You don’t feel effortless. You’re fairly sure your face is going to reveal that some effort is involved.

Mine certainly wasn’t an image of easy confidence before that first event.

What I remember is the difference between the people I’d expected and the people who were actually there. I’d allowed an imagined version of running to stand in for the real thing.

That doesn’t mean every event or group will suit everyone. You can encounter unkindness. Access, time limits, and the way an event is organised can affect whether it’s right for you. Those deserve proper attention.

But your resemblance to an advertising photograph tells you very little about any of them.

Leave some room to be new

There’s a slightly impossible condition we can set ourselves: we’ll turn up once we look as though we’ve been doing it for years.

Being new tends to show. You might have questions about where to go or what happens next. You might feel awkward in the clothes you’ve chosen. There’s room to learn those things without treating every uncertain moment as evidence that you shouldn’t be there.

I wouldn’t promise that one event will settle the feeling for good. My first one gave me a real experience to put beside the picture in my head. That was useful in itself.

If being seen is what’s making a start difficult, Feeling self-conscious about starting offers practical ways to make the situation more manageable.

You can decide what would help you feel comfortable. You can ask about an event before entering. There’s no need to settle whether you look like a runner while standing in front of the wardrobe.